PunkKittyDiddy

Spotted on Craigslist

Am alternately fascinated and frightened by a job posted in the writing gigs section of Craigslist today.  Some guy's got 400 handwritten pages that he'd like typed up.  He can't do it himself, for some reason.  I'm guessing that somewhere in his past, there was once an unfortunate incident involving a typewriter, and a case of writer's block, during which the words, "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" came up.........over and over and over again.

But wait. It gets better. 

The would-be boss describes himself as "intense" and "a bit weird."  But, he amends this by adding, "you are very safe being around and working with me."   

Wait - isn't the whole job search process supposed to be filled with sugarcoating, and even bald-faced lies?  If this is how he butters you up, I'd hate to be around the guy once he lets his hair (and tinfoil-crafted cranial shield) down.

Yup.  I'm going to have to pass.

Spotted on CraigsList.......

Ah, trolling for supplemental gigs is always a fun time on CraigsList. 

• WANNA GET PAID TO WORKOUT, they ask me?  Sure.  I do it for free now, and it sucks.  I mean, there's the whole "enjoy some glowing good health" aspect that I should be basking in, but I'm totally willing to shift my focus, become an exercise mercenary and be motivated by financial gain instead.  I'm not sure what's in it for the paying party, however. Maybe they're hawking some sort of gym membership pyramid sales scheme or something.   I click on the link to find out.  Ahhhhhhhhhh.  Of course.  Topless jump-roping.    Never mind.
• Test experimental condoms!  OK, so they do at least specify that you have to be on the pill before attempting such.  And they are willing to pay $200. But some nouns just aren't meant to be modified by the "experimental" adjective.  John Denver died in an "experimental" plane, as I recall.
• Right out of the starting gate, I knew this next one was not for me because the headline was riddled with typographical errors - and it was only a few words long.  Still, I was weirdly compelled to investigate further, and I would be remiss if I didn't take time out to mock this guy who is looking for a "promiscuous" personal assistant.  He requires a diligent workaholic who can do everything from "light office work" to "posing nude."  So, why doesn't he just cut the secretarial pretense crap and hire a prostitute?  Oh, right........demanding that she do some filing too will probably lower her hourly wage to a far more exploitative and affordable figure.

Times are tough if these ads are actually pulling in any applicants.  Then again, there's a sucker born every minute, and not just during the times of economic downswing.

Yeesh.