Today, via snail mail, I received a catalog for a certain "Magick, Myth & Fantasy" product collection. What on earth have I recently purchased (or done) that would flag me as a person of interest to the manufacturers of protective amulets? Huh? Nor do I think it's totally flattering that someone figured I might be just the sort of person who is in the market for a "pirate vixen dress and petticoat" or a "Absinthe Faerie" resin sculpture...........
Don't even even get me started on the "Totally Nude Aerobics" and "Totally Nude Yoga & Tai Chi" exercise DVDs being offered up on page 40. (These probably should be sold on the same page as the skin-tight gold and silver lamé leggings meant to "fit like a second skin" from page 25....but they aren't.)
It's good that they're selling crystal balls, though. You can attempt to peer into the future, and maybe realize that your financial picture is bleak in no small part for having squandered your money on stuff like crystal balls, and the not-inexpensive green garnet ring on page 10 that promises to bring financial prosperity to its wearer. Oh, the mystical irony of it all.
I'm not really one to judge. I'm as susceptible to stupid and pointless impulse purchases as the next person. If money were no object, I might actually be buying the jewelry emblazoned with the Edgar Allan Poe and Tolkien quotes. The coffin-shaped sunglasses which are hawked as "the last word in postmortem moderne" are kinda nifty, too. And, as it were, I still had to (seriously) talk myself out of the floor-length reversible crimson/purple velvet cape. Me, the broke one who lives in the mostly sweltering San Fernando Valley. WTF is wrong with me? Yeah, of course, I would like to spend my days skulking around in the shadows and emerging occasionally to remove my hood and issue a dire warning about the oncoming Orc army or Imperial forces, but.....I've got this damn stinking sink full of dirty dishes to contend with. And some other lame stuff to do.
But someday, when I finally have more money than sense (the bar is not set particularly high here on either measure), that full-length velvet "Lady Moonbeam" gown and matching capelet shall be MINE............
Ah, those are impulses of everywo/man! Within the last week, I have successfully resisted ordering a glow-in-the-dark yard art glass sphere, and a remote controlled changing moon-phase wall ornament. Notice how the catalog traffic has picked up precipitously within the last month? Christmas season is upon us!
Posted by: Cat | August 31, 2009 at 07:40 AM