So tonight I wound up watching a portion of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans with my almost three-year-old daughter.
Not on purpose, exactly. It was just one of those moments of weakness that pops up along the path toward parental enlightenment (or maybe it's the path toward dog-tired submission.....I get those two states of being confused sometimes). At any rate, it was one of those times when I have already said (for the fiftieth, or the seventieth, or the hundredth time): "How many more times am I going to have to tell you to get back in bed?!!"
This eventually becomes a rhetorical question. The Toddler has already done the math. She likes her odds. She knows I can't bring myself to say, "How many more times am I going to have to tell you to get back in bed?" for the fifty-first (or seventy-first, or one hundred and first) time.
So she walks into the living room right in the middle of a vampire versus lycan smackdown. Her eyes get HUGE. Not in a terrified way. More like in a "You have been holding out on me......this is WAY better than Elmo!" way.
And she asks, "What is this?"
I could have, and probably should have, told her, "I'm not going to tell you again......"
Instead I say, "It's werewolves versus vampires. Level with me. Which do you think is cooler?"
She pauses, watches a few more moments of footage, and appears to actually consider her response. After a minute, she says, "Werewolves."
I ask her: "Why?" (Because kids say the damnest things. It's true.)
And she says: "Because the wolves go: GARRRRRRRRGH!"
There are loads of debates going on in assorted horror fan chat rooms and message boards right now this very second, in which this exact same topic is being dissected by completely grown adults.........
......and I can assure you that, ultimately, her answer is no less legit than anything a person ten times her age can offer up.
True story.
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