PunkKittyDiddy

Marie Antoinette Would Be Proud

Z. has just recently learned one of the most potent words in the entire English language.

"Cake."

I'm further pleased to report that her cognitive development is very much on track, and she has a solid grasp of the concept behind the word, "cake"....oh, this is no coincidental, arbitrary verbal eruption that toddlers are so prone to......nay, it's wholly unlike her grasp of the word, "elbow," which is often blurt out at random, decidedly non-elbow-related moments. 

See, we were celebrating Stepdaughter's birthday tonight, and thus for the occasion I had been assigned the task of procuring the relevant foodstuff.  So Z. and I roll into a bakery earlier today to snag us a little somethin'-somethin', and the Wee One immediately set forth to prove her emerging way with words.  Though perhaps you had to actually be there to appreciate her delivery.  Rife with nuance, it was.  It wasn't, "cake," so much as, "CAKECAKECAKECAKECAKECAKECAKECAKE!" 

You know that part in The Shining, where Jack Nicholson cleaves the door open with an ax, and pokes his head through, and says, "Heeeeeere's Johnny!"??  That's kind of exactly how it rolled off of Z's tongue, only she was saying,"CAKECAKECAKECAKECAKECAKECAKE!" instead.

Incidentally, I'm still feigning total ignorance as to whom she inherited her sweet tooth from.

The Definitive Answer To THE Question On Everyone's Mind......

The best way to prepare brussel sprouts is to braise them in cream and then serve them sprinkled with a dash of nutmeg on top.

In case you were wondering.

Adventures in Netflixing: "I Am Legend"

Actually, I haven't had this particular Netflix adventure yet, through no fault of my own.  I just wanted to make a point.  This movie has been at the top of my Netflix queue for about five gazillion years already.  The status of its availability has read, "Very Long Wait," for a long enough time to be not only convincing, but a ridiculous understatement.  They haven't gone so far as to tell me, "You will never see this movie, sucker!" but it's kind of implied at this stage.

With the movie being in such high demand and all, you'd think they would have acquired more than two copies of it. 

Would put your eggs....in this basket?

I won't even attempt to top this tagline.  It's perfection.

Soooooo looking forward to this one!  Hell, even I want to have Tina Fey's baby.  That woman's a freakin' genius.

Rockabye: From Wild to Child

A very cool editor I know brought this book to my attention, and I'm so glad.......I certainly would have killed to have something encouraging like this to read when I was knocked up and wondering if my tattoos and piercings would guarantee me a sub-standard basement room come labor day because the hospital staff were surely going to dismiss me on sight as an uninsured vagrant pickpocket or something.

Better late than never!

Personally, I still struggle to find kindred spirited, non-mainstream moms to make friends with......so I'm not about to pass up the opportunity to tout a book which debunks the notion that you have to turn in your street cred for frequent shopper status at Pottery Barn Kids as soon as you've spawned.

I ordered this from Amazon earlier today based mostly on the impact of the gorgeous cover, and of course the brilliant concept, but having since read several excerpts, I have a feeling I won't be disappointed by the content, either.

To read more about this book, and its author Rebecca Woolf, check out her website.

And rock on! 

The Winner, By A Nose (An Amoeba's Nose, At That).....

This year's winner of the Boston Marathon beat the second-place runner by two seconds.

Two seconds.  Two seconds too slow.  How hard would that suck, knowing that three seconds (assuming you weren't aiming for a tie) were all that stood between you and victory?  What else can you possibly do to carve three seconds off your best time in such a scenario?  Shave off every last hair and run naked?  Make friends with some rogue, fringe-dwelling mad scientist who can rebuild you with the latest bionic technology?  What?

My own brushes with greatness are measured in much larger increments.  Days - but more typically years, or even decades - are usually what stand between me and the chance to be first in a noteworthy endeavor of any sort.

But two seconds?  The mind boggles. 

Dressing For Success, or a Felony, or Something In Between........

Old Navy has launched a kicky new spring/summer line which it has christened, "The Road Trip Collection."

   Only I'm not sure I'd want to go wherever these dewy debutantes are headed......which would be where, exactly?  Buffy's parents' weekend home in the Hamptons?  Sure, hilarity and hijinks will inevitably ensue as that wacky Madison borrows Dad's Bentley again and finds herself in another fender bender, this time with the mayor, and maybe Blair's story about her Friday night date with a pre-law sophomore named Tad will seem a lot funnier after a few mojitos, but even so.........

A trip to the supermarket would seem exciting in comparison.  Ah, well - to each their own. 

Me, if I'm looking for clothing to set the tone for my road trip, I'd probably rather go wherever those guys over on the right are headed.........

Hell, even this chicken looks like he's got an agenda that trumps an afternoon of croquet and mint juleps on the front lawn.......

OK....I'll stop now.

That Which Does Not Kill Us Still Makes Us Nervous About Dying

I have a love/hate relationship with doom-mongers.  On the one hand, I enjoy keeping abreast of what sort of impending doom is afoot.  It's good to stay in the loop. On the other hand, I hate keeping abreast of what sort of impending doom is afoot.  It makes me twitchy.

A few days ago, Yahoo News saw fit to highlight this story about how a giant earthquake is pretty much guaranteed to strike California by the year 2037. 

Oh goodie!  This was the missing puzzle piece to my day.  As I sit typing at my computer, flirting boldly with the twin pleasures of eye strain and carpal tunnel syndrome, I glance at the remnants of my lunch - a salad doused in unpronounceable pesticides, and a microwaveable noodle bowl that is gonna blast me with about ten different kinds of cancer (Microwaving food in plastic containers?  Cancer for YOU, my friend!  Additives or preservatives, however sparingly used?  More cancer!  It's a cancer party in my mouth!) - before attempting to wrestle away from the baby a toy she's chewing on (a toy that has undoubtedly come skidding down an assembly line in China only to be slathered in paint made from lead, duck beaks still wet from bird flu backwash, and spare plutonium) as the TV blares in the background about how the planet is melting and how all the fashionable terrorist threats this season are sporting an elevated orange-y glow.  In the midst of all of this, it's just darn helpful to be informed that the walls could now come caving in as the earth beneath my feet splits open and envelops me in its gaping black chasm on top of it all.

Thanks, doom-mongers.

Hey Kids! Don't Be Like Me! Take a Page From This Guy's Book Instead!

This fellow has been getting a lot of press lately......blind and mentally disabled, he's nonetheless forged ahead and made a musical genius of himself, buoyed in no small part by the gift of perfect pitch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.......I get it.  I get that I'm an ungrateful and slothful ne'er-do-well in comparison.  I guess it's healthy to be reminded of this. 

Him, he can't see squat and is intellectually challenged, unable to complete most basic human functions by himself, yet he still manages to fill the world with melodious music, making it a better and more beautiful place, setting an example for people about the triumph of the human spirit in the process, etc..  Me?  My vision's a bit dodgy but comparatively operational, and whilst otherwise unsaddled by any bona fide handicap that might stop me from achieving my dreams or helping mankind, I still can't seem to divest myself of the compulsion to instead spend most of my time complaining about really dumb stuff, like the lack of available parking in my neighborhood.  Worse, I do a lot of this complaining in the presence of my toddler, which means I'm not only an ungrateful and slothful ne'er-do-well, I set a poor example for and sully the otherwise pristine and impressionable soul of a very small child on top of it all.  Niiiiiice.

But perhaps my lot in life is to serve as a human signpost, a cautionary tale of how terrible it is to be an ungrateful and slothful ne'er-do-well?  I like this theory, because it allows me to contribute to the betterment of humanity in an inadvertent way, without actually having to do any work or much heavy lifting. 

Yeah....that's a good theory, that one!  Whew!  Looks like I'm off the hook for the time being.......and now back to our regularly scheduled whining..........

Whooops! You Mean We're NOT Allowed to Re-attach A Wing With Duct Tape?

  I don't know which is more unsettling - the fact that the FAA has suddenly decided to pay closer attention to whether or not airlines are complying with safety regulations (uhhhhh, wasn't this always important?), or the fact that airlines are now cancelling their flights in record number because the threat of inspection and citation looms larger.

Geez - all of the sudden, hitchhiking is looking like a sane mode of transportation..............